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(Undo revision 23053 by 74.108.79.125 (talk) this looks like equivocation. if that wasn't the intent, pls discuss on the talk page)
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This excuse is problematic because:
 
This excuse is problematic because:
* it attempts to dictate women's emotional responses to them, in particular perpetrating the idea that women are socially obliged to be pleasant and accommodating
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* it attempts to dictate women's emotional responses to them, in particular perpetrating the idea that women are [[Play nice|socially obliged to be pleasant and accommodating]]
 
* it places the blame on women for responding negatively to attention which is wholly inappropriate in many contexts, such as professional communities
 
* it places the blame on women for responding negatively to attention which is wholly inappropriate in many contexts, such as professional communities
 
* it reminds women that they are subject to men's approval (see [[Grunch]])
 
* it reminds women that they are subject to men's approval (see [[Grunch]])
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* it ignores the fact that many women have had negative experiences with sexual attention, such as immediate or eventual criticism or violence, and therefore do not view it with unmixed (or any) pleasure
 
* it ignores the fact that many women have had negative experiences with sexual attention, such as immediate or eventual criticism or violence, and therefore do not view it with unmixed (or any) pleasure
 
* it makes non-straight women feel particularly marginalised
 
* it makes non-straight women feel particularly marginalised
* focusing on women's appearance contributes to feelings of [[exceptionalism]] and conveys the judgment that a woman's interests and expertise are less valuable than her attractiveness
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* focusing on women's appearance contributes to feelings of [[exceptionalism]] and conveys the judgment that [[Beauty duty|a woman's interests and expertise are less valuable than her attractiveness]]
   
 
== Incidents ==
 
== Incidents ==

Revision as of 06:32, 14 October 2014

You should be flattered is an excuse used for sexist incidents, in particular for sexualized environments or harassment incidents, in which commentary on women's appearance (usually) is defended as being complimentary to the women.

This excuse is problematic because:

  • it attempts to dictate women's emotional responses to them, in particular perpetrating the idea that women are socially obliged to be pleasant and accommodating
  • it places the blame on women for responding negatively to attention which is wholly inappropriate in many contexts, such as professional communities
  • it reminds women that they are subject to men's approval (see Grunch)
  • it reminds women who aren't the object of the comment that they are also subject to men's approval
  • it ignores the fact that many women have had negative experiences with sexual attention, such as immediate or eventual criticism or violence, and therefore do not view it with unmixed (or any) pleasure
  • it makes non-straight women feel particularly marginalised
  • focusing on women's appearance contributes to feelings of exceptionalism and conveys the judgment that a woman's interests and expertise are less valuable than her attractiveness

Incidents

Responses and commentary