Geek Feminism Wiki

Unsolicited revenge fantasies silence complaints of sexism by decentering the feelings of the woman who experienced the sexism and framing the range of "appropriate" responses to the sexist incident.

  • Responding with revenge fantasies invalidates a woman's feelings of sadness or vulnerability or anger (without vengefulness) or any of a wide range of possible emotional responses
  • Revenge fantasies may be upsetting or triggering to marginalized people, who may have experienced violence personally or against a loved one in the name of "revenge"
  • Revenge fantasies are usually extremely impractical; for instance, responding to office microaggressions with violence is impractical and would harm the marginalized person more than the sexist
    • Because revenge fantasies are so impractical, they can make the marginalized person feel that what they actually experienced and described went unheard
  • Related to Unsolicited advice


  • "I would have kicked him in the balls!"
  • "I hope he dies in a fire!"
  • "People like that deserve a Biblical plague."

Further reading

Why don't you just hit him? by Mary Gardiner