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She was asking for it!

Assumed invitation occurs whenever a sexual invitation or openness to sexual advances is assumed, rather than confirmed by affirmative action. More specifically it can, and often does, include the additional assumption that since a person is, assumedly, "looking for it", they are inviting or sexually open to that specific person, or are obligated to accept them.

The idea that a man, or any person, should ever have right to assume what a woman is thinking, feeling, or wanting, is a vein that runs deep and strong in Rape culture.


Issues with the existence of assumed invitation include:

  • Shift of responsibility to women to restrict their self-expression and actions in order to avoid being assumed to be sexually available

Bases used to claim assumed invitation[]

  • She's a woman (because All women are horny)
  • She's wearing specific clothes (because the primary use of clothing is signalling whether a woman wants sex or not)
  • She's wearing specific makeup (ditto)
  • She's alone (because women never are alone unless "looking for it")
  • She's in a specific place (because women never have any business to certain streets, buildings, events, clubs, parties, bars, rooms, corners, etc etc unless "looking for it")
  • She's out and about at a specific time (because women never have any business to be outside of their door unless "looking for it")
  • She is, or was, or perceived to be sexually promiscuous (because she's "giving it away" anyway)
  • She is, or was, a stripper or a sex worker (because she's "giving it away" anyway)
  • She was looking around all bedroom eyes like (because no way she was tired, bored, tipsy, annoyed, or blinded by bright lights)
  • She was talking/smiling to me (because women never are sociable unless "looking for it")
  • She was dancing all come hither like (because sexy movement never occurs in women's dancing unless "looking for it").


When invitation-assuming is challenged, the two most usually encountered counter-arguments are:

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